And Miles To Go Before I Sleep
by RheatheHadley
Summary: Pidge can't sleep, so she leaves her room to search the Castle of Lions for some tech ideas. This leads to a surprise bonding moment with the Paladin she least expected. (uses female pronouns for Pidge)


Pidge couldn't sleep. She could blame her wakefulness on the strange gravity of the Castle of Lions or gastrointestinal issues caused by the food goo or excitement over being a Paladin of Voltron, but then she'd be lying. In reality, thoughts swirled viciously inside her head and guilt ate away at her insides. No, she definitely would not be sleeping tonight.

Her latest project was a welcome distraction. During previous sleepless nights, she'd kept herself busy building a new drone. Rover had been extremely helpful, but his Galra origins made him flawed. So, Pidge was building a new drone that wouldn't leave them vulnerable to the Galra again. The design was complete and the drone itself was almost done, but Pidge wanted to take a look at the training deck technology and see what she could apply to her new friend.

After slipping into her boots, Pidge quietly exited her room and made her way to the training deck. The journey there was silent except for the slight noise her boots made against the metal flooring. Once outside the training deck, however, things were different. She could hear rough grunts and the sound of metal hitting metal through the door. Her lips fell into a curious frown. Who was up training in the middle of the night?

Pidge pushed the button next to the door and it slid open just in time for her to watch the training bot get impaled with a gleaming red sword. Panting and tired, Keith wiped the sweat from his forehead before looking over at the door to see who had entered.

"Pidge?" He frowned. "What are you doing up at-"

"At two o'clock in the morning Earth time? Clearly not the same thing as you."

"I'm training," he said, stating the obvious.

"Well that's readily apparent," she muttered under her breath. "Couldn't sleep?" She asked him sympathetically.

Keith shrugged in response, his gaze not meeting hers. Pidge was going to take that as a yes.

"Yeah, me either. I came to do a little snooping on the training tech. I'm building a new drone, since I lost Rover."

Keith nodded, still a little out of breath. He crossed over to the bench by the door and grabbed the pouch of Altean nutrient water that was sitting there.

"Are you sure you should be training so much?" Pidge asked, voicing her concerns. "I mean, we train during the day, and here you are training at night. You don't want to overexert yourself."

Keith sat down on the bench and set the water pouch down next to him. "I'm not overworking myself; I'm simply doing what needs to be done. And besides, you can't tell me to get some rest when you aren't getting any yourself."

"You make a fair point," Pidge said, sitting herself down on the bench next to him. "But like I said, I couldn't sleep."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't be trying to rest if you need it," he pointed out.

"I tried, but I couldn't." She sighed and began to tug on the hem of her shirt nervously, "I can't stop thinking about my family."

"Is this about what I said before the castle fell? Because I meant it. I know I shouldn't have yelled, but we need do you. Without you we can't form Voltron, and without Voltron the universe stands no chance against the Galra. I'm sorry about your family, I really am, but there are other families that need you too."

Pidge shook her head. "It's not about that. You were right, even if you were kind of being a jerk."

"If it's any consolation," Keith said, "I do think we'll find them. They won't be the same as when you lost them, but I do think your father and brother are alive."

"I like to believe that too," she smiled. "It's nice to hear someone else say it for a change."

Keith smiled back, "No problem."

"The reason I can't sleep… it's not about them, though. I keep thinking about my mom. She was so heartbroken after Matt and my dad never came back. She believed the news reports; she thinks they're gone for good. She didn't understand why I couldn't believe it too. When I told her I was signing up to join the Garrison, she didn't even try talking me out of it. I knew she wanted to, but she knew that once I set my mind to it there was no going back. So we made a deal. A phone call. Just one call a week, that's all she asked of me."

A tear dripped onto the hem of her shirt and she brushed it away quickly. She hadn't realized she'd been crying.

"We've definitely been gone for longer than a week, and I can't help but wonder how she's doing or what she's thinking. The Garrison wouldn't have even notified her that I was missing. She lost my brother and my father, and now she's lost me too. I wonder if she's hates me a little for leaving. Even if she doesn't, I hate myself a little for it."

When she finished speaking, Keith made no move to fill the silence. Pidge felt like such an idiot. Why, out of all the Paladins, did she have to confess all of this to Keith? He was known to be rougher around the edges than everyone else and more emotionally stunted as well. She should have gone to Hunk or Lance or Shiro. They'd understand, and she might even have gotten a comforting hug from them, rather than painfully awkward silence. She was just about to apologize to for bothering him and leave when he broke the silence.

"The reason I can't sleep… the reason I'm also training at random times of the day or night, it's because of family, too," he admitted quietly.

Pidge looked over at him in confusion, but he pointedly kept his gaze on his hands in his lap. "I don't understand," she said. "How does your training up here affect your family back on earth?"

"That's just it," he said. "I don't have a family back on earth. The only families I have ever known are foster families, and I've had more of those than I care to count. I know I'm not the best kid, not even close, but I _always_ ended up back in the system. Because of my behavior, no one wanted to put up with me for long. I always let them down, somehow, someway.

"But now," he said, "I have a family. For the first time, I feel like I have people in my life I can consider family, and nothing scares me more than the thought of letting you guys down like I've let down all the others. _That's_ why I'm always training."

The entire time he spoke, he kept his gaze firmly on his hands, refusing even the slightest glance in Pidge's direction. He rubbed his hands together anxiously, waiting for her to say something. He was more than a little surprised when Pidge threw her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. After a moment's hesitation, he gently hugged her back.

"If it's any consolation," Pidge whispered, "I consider you guys family too. And you won't let us down, I know you won't."

Keith smiled, "Thanks Pidge. And I know your mom doesn't hate you for leaving. I might be new to this whole family thing, but you're just trying to put yours back together. She can't blame you for that."

"Thanks Keith. That means a lot."

They both pulled out of the hug and Keith ruffled her hair affectionately before standing. He raised his arms high above his head to stretch. "I'm going to try to get some sleep, you should too."

"Goodnight," Pidge said.

"Night."

}!{

The following morning at breakfast, when both the Red and Green Paladins were missing, Lance groaned loudly in complaint.

"Why do they get to sleep in?" He grumbled. "You know what, how about I personally give them both a wake up call? Then we'll all be awake and it'll all be fair - equal amounts of beauty sleep for everyone."

Shiro shook his head at the Blue Paladin. "Don't. Let them sleep. I have a feeling it's been a long time coming."

And when Pidge and Keith emerged from their rooms a few hours later looking better than they had in days, Lance was glad he'd listened.


End file.
